When most people picture mothers in their heads they see a nurturing and loving woman who welcomes her children with open arms. Unfortunately, not all mothers can be described as such.
While it might not be something you knew you were facing growing up, looking back if your mother was narcissistic chances are you dealt with more than you should have. Children who are born to mothers who have this kind of disorder do not often realize how much they’ve faced at the hands of those who were supposed to love them.
Narcissistic mothers or parents see their children as an extension of themselves rather than their own beings. They think their kids belong to them and do not view them as equals as they should. They use their kids to live out their own lives and honestly, it can leave the children once they grow up wondering who they are or what path they want to go down in life because they never got to explore this avenue properly on their own.
Narcissistic parenting creates emotional damage to children that will follow them into their adult lives. While in today’s society ‘narcissist’ is a term that is tossed around pretty freely, and most of the time as an insult to describe an arrogant or self-obsessed person, narcissism is a serious disorder that does actually affect the lives of people all over the world. Narcissists have a limited ability to show unconditional love to their children, and the effects are truly a cause for concern.
Children of narcissistic parents often find themselves asking questions like, “Will I ever be good enough?” “Am I lovable?” “Am I only valued by the way I look?” “Do I really feel like this?” Does this sound familiar? If you were the child of a narcissistic parent, hopefully this post will give you the answers that you have been searching for. Was your childhood harmed by one of the following types of maternal narcissists?
A parent with a substance problem will always seem narcissistic because they choose their add!ction time and time again over the people that they love. Actions speak louder than words after all, and the actions of an add!ct scream louder than all.
The Secretly Abus!ve
This type of narcissistic parent does not want other people to know what happens behind closed doors. She has two different personas, the one she shows other people and the one that she shows her children. She is loving and attentive in public but in private she is mean and nasty, some would even describe her as neglectful.
The Emotionally Needy
This type of narcissistic parent shows her true self more openly than others. You have to emotionally take care of this person always making sure to pump up their already overly inflated ego, and always stepping on eggshells to spare yourself from their wrath.
This type of narcissistic parent uses things like illness and medical problems to manipulate other people. She cares little for the people around her and uses her own ailments to get attention from other people. The only way to get attention from this type of parent is to take care of her. They use illness to escape their own feelings, and you will never be sicker than she is, or it is time to up the ante.
This is the type of narcissistic mother that movies are made about. She is the entertainer, loved by all but secretly feared by the people who she herself brought into this world. She is all about the performance, noticeable flashy and ‘fun’. You matter very little to her, but what truly matters is how you present her to the world.
The Accomplishment Oriented
What you achieve in life is all that she lives for. You are forced into every activity and sport. Your grades, the colleges you get into and the degrees you achieve. But if you don’t want the things she thinks you should then you get greeted with fury and rage.
The Invasive Mother
This is the mother that refuses to let you have any real sense of privacy. She goes through all of your things and basically treats you like you’re not a person. It’s like everything you do she needs to know about which should only be to an extent. She’s definitely the reason why you don’t keep a diary or at least why you never have.